


A Cornucopia Of Roses

by Iloveacting12



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: F/M, Holidays, Husbands, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Post-Canon, Thanksgiving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:34:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27734644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iloveacting12/pseuds/Iloveacting12
Summary: Two years into their marriage, David decides to bring Patrick to the first Rose extended family Thanksgiving since they lost their money.
Relationships: Johnny Rose/Moira Rose, Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 9
Kudos: 81





	A Cornucopia Of Roses

**Author's Note:**

> Diverges heavily from the backstory of the Rose extended family. I honestly have no idea what the situation is. I couldn't find Moira's maiden last name, so I made it the last name of the amazing Catherine O'Hara who brought the character to life.

David can feel himself starting to spiral. He knows everything’s going to be fine, he knows he’ll be okay, he knows he will probably even have a little bit of fun. He knows all of this because Patrick’s going to be there. Where is there? His parents are hosting their first holiday party since they all lost their money. Now that Moira has been renewed on Sunrise Bay, has finally won her very sought after daytime Emmy, and has been brought back for The Crows 4, she has decided it’s the perfect time for a Thanksgiving with her family and the entire Rose clan. David and Alexis tried to talk her out of it, why would they want to host a party for people who ignored them for six years? Not that he blames them. Moira had ostracized herself from her family for what he thinks are obvious reasons, and Johnny wasn’t very loved by his family because he always looked down on them for not being self-made like he was. Whenever they tried to ask for a loan, he refused, so when he lost his money, none of them helped. Now, of course, they’re all crawling over each other to get back in their good graces.

David groans and leans against the car as Patrick, Stevie, and Alexis come out of Alexis’ apartment building with their bags. He couldn’t sleep last night, so, for the first time ever, he’d been the first to pack his stuff in the car. Patrick gives him a worried glance, but doesn’t say anything. Instead he leans over and gives David a quick kiss before putting his solitary suitcase in the back. Stevie follows, also with her one bag, and then Alexis tries to shove her four bags in with David’s three. He’s proud of himself. His husband’s frugal packing habits have started to wear off on him, and he was able to admit that he probably won’t need three outfit changes a day. He just had to settle for the normal two. Alexis hadn’t gotten the memo, and even though she is living in a shoe box apartment above a restaurant that lets her live there for free in exchange for a weekly cooking segment on her blog A Little Bit Alexis (sponsored by Interflix), David had seen that she used every available bit of space to store clothes. 

Alexis and Stevie sit upfront, and David and Patrick lean against each other in back. It’s five in the morning and they’re heading to JFK to get a seven thirty flight. When Moira had sent out the invitations to the party, David, Patrick, and Stevie decided to meet Alexis in New York a few days early to also see more of the city before flying to Los Angeles. It wasn’t Patrick’s first time, that had been months ago at Alexis’ birthday party. David had spent a lot more time showing Patrick all of his old favorite places and flaunting him in front of his old friends than with his actual sister, but this time is different. This time it’s Patrick and Stevie against the entire Rose/O’Hara clans, and David doesn’t know how to prepare them. Patrick has reassured him time and time again that everything will be okay. He tries to relate it to last Thanksgiving, where David finally met the entire Brewer family, but David knows it is completely different, and he isn’t even exaggerating this time.

They don’t speak until they’re through security and then it’s up to David and Alexis to find where their connecting flight is leaving from. They have a non-stop, six-and-a-half-hour flight to look forward to, so David insists they get breakfast. “Let’s just get McDonald’s and eat at our gate.” David and Alexis both give Stevie horrified stares.

She holds their eyes for a second before snorting out a laugh. Patrick chuckles next to David. “Man you should’ve seen your faces. No David, I don’t need another speech on what’s correct and what’s incorrect. Of course we aren’t getting food from there. Where do you want to go?” Alexis does her own little shoulder shimmy, excited to show her friends and brother her favorite spot to eat in the airport that used to feel more like home than her actual house.

She turns in the opposite direction of where they were going. “Okay, a couple gates back there’s this little restaurant called La Vie, and we need to go there now. Their eggs benedict is the only thing that gets me through these flights. And I’m going to need it without first class.” David nods in agreement while Patrick and Stevie share an eye roll behind their backs. They get to the restaurant and all order eggs benedict before finding an open table. They scarf their food down, and David has three cups of coffee before he feels awake enough to actually participate in the conversation. 

Alexis is getting the two newcomers some tips on what to expect from their eccentric families. “Never get in a conversation with Dee Dee. She will inevitably try to get to you invest in her newest scheme. And our grandpa is super sweet, but he will make tasteless comments about everything he notices. Patrick this will be you being gay, and Stevie, yours will be about how makeup will make you look nicer, and a smile can go a long way. Shit like that.” Stevie shrugs, not really seeing the problem. It sounds like a regular family get together for her family too.

David shudders. “And avoid Grandmother at all costs. She doesn’t like to be spoken to unless she invites to into a conversation. She raised our mother to be as closed off as possible and hated our dad since the day they met and he tried to shake her hand. That lasted until she saw how loyal he was to her even after she lost her job on Sunrise Bay. If either of you go up to her without being prompted she will never speak to you again.” 

Patrick and Stevie share a nervous glance. Patrick looks back to David and grabs his hand. “How will we know if she wants to talk to us?”

Alexis flinches slightly. “Let’s hope she doesn’t, but if you are unlucky enough to be subjected to her attention, her steward will come up to you and tell you that Maxine O’Hara would like a word and to meet her in whatever location she is in at the time. Do not think that just because she isn’t in the room, you’re safe. She will purposefully not approach you until James can see what you’re like without her in eyesight, then she’ll pounce.” Patrick feels a small pit grow in his stomach and he knows it’s stupid. David isn’t going to leave him because his grandmother doesn’t like him.

He clears his throat. “What should we call her?”

Both siblings answer in tandem. “Mrs. O’Hara.”

They look to each other, and this time David steps up to the plate to explain. “We had to call her Mrs. O’Hara until our sweet sixteen. It was her present to both of us, but even then it was Grandmother, never Grandma, Grammy, or any iteration of the name that could be formulated from the letters that compose the title I have assigned myself on your behalf.” His voice takes on a Moira hue as he quotes his grandmother. Stevie grimaces but accepts his words. “Also, never bring up weddings. She will has never gone to one besides her own, and she will never attend one in the future. She has been married five times, it’s why she has so many children. Moira and Dee Dee are the only ones that share a father.” Stevie starts to look even more worried, and Patrick feels himself turning green.

Alexis flicks a curl off her shoulder. “Yeah she gets these super rich guys wrapped around her finger, makes sure not to sign a prenup, and then dumps them like last year’s Prada. She loves extravagance…”

Stevie can’t help but interrupt. “As much as you and David?”

Both siblings nod emphatically and David pipes up. “So much more than us. She married the owner of Cirque du Soleil and made all of the theater groups make one big performance that incorporated parts of each story. That includes the naked one, but instead of performers, it was her and hubby number four.” All four of them grimace, but Alexis actually gags. From there, breakfast ends quite fast seeing as none of them have an appetite anymore. They get to their gate not long after, and chat more about the families until it’s time to board. They are split with the aisle between Patrick (middle seat) and David (aisle), and Alexis (aisle) and Stevie (middle). They cumulatively decide to take a break from talking to do their own thing during the flight. Alexis pulls her face mask from her purse, puts it on, and promptly falls asleep. Stevie pulls out Atlas Shrugged, and David and Patrick cuddle and watch Titanic. 

Johnny is outside the airport waiting for them when they come out with their bags. Patrick and Stevie stay back to let the siblings greet their dad. It’s sweet, definitely sweeter than what either of them were expecting. They all hug together, a little longer than a normal hug would go, and then separately. Johnny turns to the other two and hug them as well. “I’m so glad you could all make it. Come on, you must be exhausted.” They all get in the car, Alexis in front, the other three in back. “You made the right choice in getting here a day early. Moira has a full party team setting everything up so she doesn’t need any help there. Once we get home I’ll show you to your rooms and you can take a nap.” Alexis hums in agreement, and David doesn’t even respond. He’s already spread out, with his head on Patrick’s shoulder, snoring slightly.

The house is beautiful. Johnny and Moira bought a beach house and decided to fix it up instead of building a new house. The one they got has five bedrooms, one office, and three bathrooms. It also has a full dining room that takes up almost an entire floor, and then on the bottom floor there is a living room and kitchen. They all say their hellos to Moira, who, unlike Johnny, gives brief hugs to her children, too busy with the party committee to dedicate time to them. David and Alexis don’t look affected in the least, but Patrick’s heart goes out to the siblings who had been so happy to see their dad. Moira shoos them upstairs and Johnny shows them the bedrooms. “So one of them has two twin beds. We’re planning on making it into another closet, but just haven’t gotten around to it. There are three other bedrooms though, so just use those. Unpack, take a nap, and we’ll see you for dinner at seven.” Moira calls for him from downstairs so he quickly grips David’s shoulder and kisses Alexis’ cheek before he’s gone.

Stevie doesn’t hesitate. “I call one of the bathrooms first.” Alexis grumbles but lets her.

Patrick turns to David who pushes him to the other. “I’m going to take a lot longer, so you should go first.” Patrick agrees with him, so he heads to the bathroom on the other side of the hall.

When Patrick finally gets to the bedroom next to the bathroom that he had assumed David and he would be sleeping in, he’s perplexed to see it’s empty. He had allowed himself to take a forty-minute shower to wash off the flight so David had ample time to unpack. He pokes his head out, and sees Stevie slip into the room next to the other bathroom. He hums under his breath and checks the bedroom next to theirs, but it’s also empty. He slowly turns to the twin bedroom and thinks he’s being ridiculous to check. He freezes just inside the room. Alexis and David were already in the beds, asleep. Their bags are at the bottom of the beds, still packed, and they are in the beds that correspond to the ones they had slept in for five years. Alexis on the left and David on the right, both equal distance to the door, so neither would be murdered first. He feels a soft smile slip onto his face as he watches the siblings who would deny to their dying breath that they miss each other, but do something like this. He takes his phone out of his pocket and takes a photo. They’re facing each other, both as close as they can be to the other without falling off their respective beds. 

Stevie startles him when she steps up next to him. She lets out a quiet, breathless chuckle. “I knew he missed her.”

Patrick puts his phone away and smirks at her. “As if there was any doubt.” She shrugs in agreement, and they both sneak out of the room, and he closes the door softly behind them. Once they are a safe distance away they both start giggling. “I’m so happy I got a photo. They would never admit to this.” Stevie nods her agreement. Patrick looks back to the room he’s going to be sleeping in and feels a little sad he won’t be sharing it with David, but he’s happy the brother and sister got over their pride and told each other they wanted to sleep in the same room, the way they had grown accustomed to doing for five years. He turns back to Stevie. “Well I’m beat so I’m gonna take a nap too.” Stevie hums in agreement, already seemingly half asleep, and they part ways. 

As Patrick lies in bed, he thinks of the David who had a hard time sleeping without the sounds his sister made for the first four months of living together. He thinks of the man who still wakes up shouting her name sometimes after a nightmare of her being killed or harmed while kidnapped. He thinks of the man who tells him stories of how close they were when they were younger, and how sad he’d been that they grew apart. He thinks of the siblings who grew so much together over the years that they are comfortable actually sharing feelings and being okay with admitting that they want to sleep in the same room. He falls asleep with a smile on his face, thinking of his husband.

Dinner is, unsurprisingly, an event. Servants come in and out of the living room where they’re having dinner. Moira regretted to inform them that the dining room was all set up so they’d have to eat at the smaller, six-person table in the living room. Moira’s in her element, gently bossing people around, and David whispers, “this is a huge improvement for her. Do you see her actually saying please and thank you? Before everything happened, she never even looked at the help.” Patrick smiles softly as he watches his mother-in-law. She does seem to appreciate what everyone is doing, but she still looks like a queen commanding her subjects. Alexis and David both looked slightly uncomfortable being served at first, but quickly fell into a routine that he’s sure was more muscle memory than conscious. They all talk as they eat. They talk about everything, catching up on everyone’s lives, and Patrick feels happy. It’s nice to see Johnny and Moira. The last time they’d seen each other had been at the Emmy after party after Moira finally won her highly sought Emmy earlier that year, and so much had happened for everyone. Before he even knew it, it was midnight, and Moira was shooing everyone to bed.

The four “kids” head upstairs and stop in the hall outside of the bedrooms. Stevie has a glint in her eye that doesn’t bode well for David. “Since you and Alexis are sleeping in the same room, I thought Patrick and I could sleep together.” Patrick shakes his head, not really wanting to be pulled into this. 

Alexis turns a shade of red and David glares at Stevie. “Ugh, whatever, David and I promised never to talk about it, so we’re going to need you to do the same.” Stevie glances at Patrick who subtly shakes his head, they can’t tell them about the photo.

Stevie rolls her eyes at the siblings. “Okay, fine, we won’t say anything.” Patrick nods in agreement.

David grabs Patrick’s arm and starts pulling them into Patrick’s room. “Well I’m going to say goodnight to my husband. Night Stevie, Alexis, I’ll see you in a minute.” Both say goodnight as David shuts the door in their faces. He pulls Patrick into a deep kiss. “I need you to promise me that whatever happens tomorrow, you will remember that I’m no longer like the rest of my family.” Patrick smiles what he knows is his lovey-dovey smile, as his mother calls it, and kisses David again.

He moves them to the bed and pushes himself against David so they both fall onto it. He breaks away to kiss down his neck. When he reaches his favorite spot, he pulls away. “David, honey, there’s nothing your family can do that will make me leave you. Nothing in the world could make me leave you.” David relaxes under him and tries to go back to kissing.

Patrick pulls away even further, but makes sure they’re still touching. David sighs and rubs his shoulders. “It’s just, I saw how panicked you looked when Alexis and I told you about Grandmother.” Patrick shakes his head and nuzzles David’s jaw.

With his head still there, he begins speaking again. “Of course I’m nervous David. I’m meeting your extended family. I know it’ll be different than mine, there’s a lot more rules, but I know you’re not going to leave me if Mrs. O’Hara doesn’t approve of me, just like you know I won’t leave if I don’t like your family, which I’m sure won’t be the case.” He can’t see David, but he feels him nod, and he’s happy they’re on the same page. He gives his neck one more kiss before fully pulling away. “Now go sleep with your sister. Even though Stevie likes to tease, we both understand your need to be close. We were there when you two had to spend years in the same room. We get it.”  
David smiles at him and kisses him again.

It’s a soft, slow, and sweet kiss that breaks up too fast. They bump foreheads and just breathe together for a second. “Good night.” David whispers it against Patrick before he leaves the room and Patrick falls into his bed, still exhausted from travelling, even after the nap, and quickly falls asleep.

Thanksgiving Day dawns to the yelling of Moira from downstairs. David groans and buries his head under his blanket. Alexis huffs from beside him, and for a second, he forgets where they are. He’s back at the motel and his mom is yelling about some issue or another with the motel and Johnny’s trying to calm her down. He’s alone and stuck in the same room as his sister, and he has nothing to do that day but wallow. There’s a knock at the door and he’s about to yell for his dad to go away, when he hears the voice of his husband, and it all comes rushing back. “Good morning, I brought you both coffee. Mrs. Rose is yelling about you being ungrateful for not offering to help.” David yanks his blankets down and sees Patrick, already showered, dressed, and ready for the day, holding two mugs of steaming coffee. He releases the blankets and makes grabby hands at him until he’s able to get his hands on his mug. 

Alexis squeals. “Aren’t you the best brother ever.” As he gives her a mug, she boops him on the nose and he smiles bashfully. “What’s mom yelling about now?” Patrick shrugs and sits on David’s bed with him. 

David sighs and rolls his eyes. “Want to take a guess? Either a guest has arrived obnoxiously early and she’s freaking out because not everything’s ready; or someone isn’t setting something up correctly.” Alexis nods in agreement, but then her eyes widen.

She hops up and down on her bed. “Or, maybe, Dee Dee has just lost all her money and needs to live with them.” David grimaces, but then it turns into a snort. Patrick looks between them, bemused. Alexis catches his look and grins. “It’s a game David and I used to play before the holiday party. We’d wake up to our mom yelling about something, and we’d make realistic and outlandish guesses to prepare ourselves for what could be the problem. We’re always right.” Patrick hmms, it makes sense.  
David pushes his blankets completely off and stretches. “Well, I’m going to take a shower. See you down there?” Patrick nods and gives him a brief kiss. Alexis whines about morning breath and David flips her off as he leaves the room. 

Alexis turns back to Patrick and smiles at him. “Are you ready to face the horde? Where’s Stevie?”

Patrick gulps slightly, truth is, he’s really not ready to meet everyone. “She’s downstairs helping Mr. Rose perfect his Rosebud Motel speech. I was listening in, and you know what? I didn’t realize just how profitable they are. For a new business chain, they’re doing remarkably well.” Alexis beams with pride and he can’t help but smile back. 

She flicks her hair out of her face and jumps up. “Alright, I better get ready too, I’ll see you in a bit.” She bops his nose again on her way out and Patrick feels himself fill with love for the siblings who have changed his life. He takes a deep breath, squares his shoulders, and starts to head back down into the cacophony.

Guests start arriving promptly at two pm. They arrive en mas and then filter in throughout the next two hours. Right before sitting down to dinner, and stern looking man enters the living room. “Mrs. Maxine O’Hara has arrived.” Alexis, in a black, knee length, velvet dress, with pilgrim looking accessories, including a buckle at her neck and on her velvet pumps, and David in his black and white floral sweater, both grimace, but paste smiles on their faces when Maxine enters the room. 

She pauses right inside the door and scans the room until her eyes land on Moira and Dee Dee, both standing to attention. She holds her hands out. “My offspring, come greet your mother.” Moira steps forward and air kisses her cheeks, but Dee Dee goes in for a full hug. Maxine freezes, and then awkwardly pats her back. She lets go immediately and focus on David, Alexis, and Patrick. David and Alexis step forward and kiss her cheeks. “Hello Grandmother.” David pulls back and wraps an arm around Patrick’s shoulder. 

Her eyes zero in on the action, and narrow. “David, who is this?”

David drops his arm and starts to fidget, before he pauses and puts it back. “This is my husband, Patrick. Patrick this is my grandmother.” 

Patrick, having been schooled by the siblings in how to react, does not hold a hand out to shake. He smiles kindly and nods. “It’s nice to meet you Mrs. O’Hara.” Her eyes get a glint, but she does not respond.

She turns to David. “I must admit David; I am surprised you found someone willing to put up with you.” David freezes, and Patrick feels himself getting riled up. He tenses, but David starts to run a hand against his shoulder, making him relax.

David puts on his best faux smile. “I’m very lucky I met him Grandmother. We own a store together in Schitt’s Creek.”

Her nose crinkles. “You are still living in that infinitesimal settlement? I thought all of you moved once your mother got her role back on Sunrise Bay?”

David shakes his head. “I had started a business, and didn’t think it would be good for it if we moved so soon after opening. Especially not to somewhere like New York, we wouldn’t have been able to afford it.” Her head tilts and she gets a look, almost like pity.

She breaks out of it and smiles condescendingly. “Well, I remember all too well what it is like to be trapped in a Podunk town. It is why I divorced Moira’s father. I simply could not stand living somewhere that does not appreciate who I am at my core.” Without waiting for a response she flitters on to the next unsuspecting victim.

Patrick turns to David. “I thought Mrs. Rose grew up in a small town.”

David nods. “She did. Grandmother divorced her father when she was seven, and left Dee Dee and her with him. She would come back for one month a year, pull them out of school, and teach them everything about how to be a successful person, which to her, meant marrying well and making sure there is no prenup. Dee Dee took after her in that way, she’s been engaged so many times mom would just throw out the wedding notices as soon as they came in. She’s not as smart as her mother, and men see right through her.”

Patrick glances at Moira, who is holding Johnny’s hand and letting him soothe her. “What about your mom?”

David follows his eyes. “She rebelled against her mother. Refused to follow in her footsteps, and actually worked really hard to get where she is. She fell in love with my father, and still married well. I think that’s part of the animosity between the two. Grandmother has never been in love, and she sees her daughter, who used to be richer than her, and had the love that has been missing from Maxine all her life. I think it caused some resentment.” Patrick lets his head fall to David’s shoulder and he rubs his thumb over his hand. 

He sees Mrs. O’Hara staring at them, and looks away before she can catch his eyes. Moira steps up to the entire room. “Dinner is set. If everyone could follow me to the second floor, we shall begin dining.” Everyone filters through the double doors leading to the stairs, and Patrick and David follow Alexis and Stevie into the stairway.

Dinner is a fiasco. No surprise there. The table is beautiful. There are dishes of every Thanksgiving meal imaginable, with the centerpiece being a giant cornucopia, filled with roses that take up the entire item, and even enough to spill out and form a bed for the cornucopia to rest on. Patrick thinks it’s a little on the nose, and the smell is cloying, especially when mixed with the food, but Moira proudly proclaims that she made it, and he loves it. Everyone has a blast eating as much food as their stomachs can take, but Patrick finds Maxine throwing a lot of barbed sentences at David. She talks about his exes, about how the last person he’d brought home during a party was Sebastien, and how she knew from the beginning that he was wrong for him, and contemplating if starting a business was smart. At that, David reminds her the only thing she liked about Johnny was his entrepreneurial spirit, but she rebuttals that she realized how wrong she had been when they lost everything. David tries to explained his idea and how financially sound it is, but she brushes him off at every turn. She never speaks to Patrick or Stevie. She pushes Alexis’ buttons about being engaged twice and now single. 

Dee Dee tries to break the tension by talking about how she’s planning on moving to South Africa to help her newest flame at his ostrich farm, and Maxine has to fight that too. She tells Dee Dee that she can never hold down a man, so why would she uproot her life just to be dumped. Patrick is about to break, and the only thing calming him down is David running his hand up and down his thigh the entire night. No one else can speak the entire dinner, and it seems like an air of relief encompasses the room as soon as the pie plates are taken away. They all migrate down to the living room and David is absconded by Moira to do The Number. 

David, without the straightened hair that stood out so prominently at Asbestos Fest, and Moira in a brown wig with the back flared out like a turkey’s tail, stand next to the piano and sing their Christmas Song Melody. Patrick can’t keep the smile on his face, and he keeps meeting Maxine’s eye so he knows she’s staring at him. He turns back to Alexis and Stevie. “Your Grandmother keeps looking at me.” Alexis whirls around and catches her eye.

She swivels to Patrick. “Just ignore it. Don’t say anything to her until she prompts. Even if she stares at you all night and doesn’t speak one word, just let it happen.” He nods nervously, but focuses on his husband’s performance. When it ends, he looks back, and she’s gone. He kisses David enthusiastically as he huffs and puffs next to him, totally out of breath from the performance. Moira is dazzling the room with another song so Patrick slips his arms around David’s middle and kisses him briefly. Alexis smiles at them, and when Moira transfers to just playing the piano, she holds her hands out to David. “Dance with me.” He rolls his eyes but accepts her invitation and they twirl to the dance floor.

Patrick watches them with a smile and catches Stevie flirting with a cousin. He gives her a joking thumbs up and she smirks. His sight is suddenly blocked by James, Maxine’s butler. “Mrs. O’Hara would like a word.” He doesn’t have time to tell David as he spins around and walks away. After Patrick doesn’t follow, he turns back and raises an eyebrow. He spares one more glance at David and Alexis, fully distracted by each other, and leaves the room. 

He meets Maxine outside in the back lawn. She’s smoking a cigarette and watching the waves. When he makes it to her he stops a foot away and looks at the ocean as well, but looks at her from the corner of his eye. She slowly turns to him and continues her staring from earlier. Patrick, sick of her theatrics, turns to face her head on. She raises her eyebrows, but looks slightly impressed. When they stand for another few seconds in silence, Patrick decides to break it. “May I help you Mrs. O’Hara?” She stares at him, gob smacked, so he continues. “It’s just, you’ve been watching me all night and I’d like to know why.”

She recovers her bearings. “I just want to make sure you are the right person for my grandson. He has been too trusting in the past, and I do not want him burned again.” 

Patrick smiles at her in what he hopes is a comforting way. “I promise, I’m not like his exes. I love your grandson, and I just want him to be happy.”

She doesn’t seem to believe him. “You think that little business venture will make him happy? Do you think that town will make him happy? I once thought the small town life was for me, but I was sorely mistaken.”

Patrick doesn’t like this conversation and decides to fuck decorum. “I’m not really a fan of how you talk about Rose Apothecary. You’ve been making snide remarks about my husband and business all night, and I’m done letting you. David is happy, maybe for the first time in his life. Do you know the reason why I know a small town will work for him?” He pauses, and even though she is clearly shocked by his tone, she gestures for him to continue. “Because New York did nothing but hurt him. He surrounded himself with people who used him and didn’t care how much it hurt. We had the option to go back, I even agreed to it, but he realized it wasn’t what he wanted. David has been hurt by so many people, but I can promise you, none of them are in Schitt’s Creek. It’s been people like you, judgmental, catty, and the only things you say are to put my husband down. David may be okay with people saying these things, but I’ll be damned if I let someone talk to him that way.” He takes a deep breath, not realizing how fast nor how passionately he’d been speaking.

Maxine stares at him for a second, and then smiles. Patrick freezes in surprise. He now can see how she has won over five people. When she smiles, her entire face lights up and her eyes grow warm. “I like you for him.” Patrick comes to the realization then; this had been a test. Everything she said and done had been to see how her grandson’s husband would react. She loops their arms together, and he understands that he’s passed. “Come, let us go back, I am sure David acting akin to an agitated pigeon with you missing.” Patrick snorts and lets her lead him back to the party.

As soon as they step inside, he can hear David yelling hysterically. “And now she’s absconded with my husband. What am I supposed to think? James is probably killing him as we speak!” Patrick chuckles, and Maxine squeezes his arm. They step into the room and Stevie slaps David’s shoulder to get him to turn around. When he sees them, he visibly deflates. “Oh thank God. Grandmother I thought you promised not to sneak significant others out after Alexis brought home the prince of Monaco and there was an assassination attempt.” 

Maxine waves her hand dismissively. “I knew Patrick would not be at risk. I needed to have a word with the young man, and I must say David, he is good for you.” She lets  
Patrick go, who immediately snuggles into his husband’s side.

He turns back to the old woman who is smiling slightly at the two of them. “I enjoyed the chat Mrs. O’Hara.”

She chuckles. “Oh dear, you may call me Maxine.” The entire room gasps and he feels David sway on his feet.

He turns to look at him and laughs. David looks like he’s about to faint. “Oh come now David, don’t look like an agitated pigeon.” At this, Maxine laughs outright and David gives him a fake wounded look before jerking his head back to his grandmother at the sound of her laughing. 

Maxine takes James’ arm. “It is time I bid you all adieu. Moira, you should be proud of your children, I believe they are doing quite well. Dee Dee, I will never speak to you again if you go to South Africa.” And, just as she came in, she seemed to fly out the room before anyone can utter a word. 

Patrick turns to David who shakes his head in disbelief. “You are literally the first significant other she has approved of. I don’t know how you did it.” He leans down and kisses him, but stops abruptly to yawn.

Patrick chuckles and squeezes his husband. “I think it’s time for bed.” David nods his assent, so they say their goodbyes and leave, followed by Alexis and Stevie. They arrive at the hallway and David pulls Patrick into his and Alexis’ room. “Stay with me tonight.” Patrick looks at the twin and chuckles.  
He’s pulled onto the bed by David, and it feels just like old times. He pushes David off the bed and onto his feet. “Go get ready for bed, I’ll be right here.” David kisses him before going to the bedroom. Alexis, taking off her shoes, smiles at the two of them. It takes them thirty minutes to get comfortable, but soon they’re out.

They fly back two days later after having seen some of the Los Angeles sites, and make plans for Alexis to come to Schitt’s Creek for Christmas and Hanukah. Patrick’s parents are coming as well and want to see all four friends. Patrick finds himself sneaking to the printing place and getting two framed photos of Alexis and David sleeping in the same room. He gives them to the siblings for Christmas, and even though they both make a stink of it, David puts it on his left bedside table, and the next time he visits Alexis, he sees it on her right.


End file.
